Welcome to Swan Songs
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Hello, Friends ~
My name is Jennifer Tehani Sarreal and I am an INELDA-trained end of life doula (also known as a death doula or death midwife). On this site, I hope you find all of the educational information you seek and learn a bit about my background along the way. I am dedicated to making death care more accessible and equitable - particularly for historically marginalized communities.
As such, I offer sliding scale and pro bono services in addition to traditional monetary exchanges of gratitude between us. It is my belief that no one should forego these essential services for lack of funds. Though I take a secular approach to the word “sacred,” it is a sacred privilege to be invited into someone’s end-of-life process and I am passionate about removing the socioeconomic barriers to receiving the compassionate care we all deserve in our final days. I also strongly believe in quality over quantity and never work with more than one client at a time (two at most, under very rare circumstances when the service allows me time to be fully present for both people), though I am more than happy to be a resource for other qualified INELDA-trained doulas if I am currently unavailable.
I created Swan Songs to fulfill a calling I had felt for many years after being bedside for several deaths that I wish we had an end-of-life doula present to advocate for and support the dying by providing loved ones with proper death education and guide the process in accordance with the dying person’s wishes. I recognize what a gift it is to die in a non-traumatic and expected way, which has not always been the case for those I love who have passed. But if we are lucky enough to plan and experience our last days with CHOICE, this opportunity to reclaim ownership of our own death experience should not be a luxury. It should be a right.
I believe there is room for joy and beauty when we commit to our Swan Songs in this life - our last loving acts for ourselves and our loved ones - and we are given more space and time to tend to this art of dying with the support and dedicated care of a death doula who is in this 'til the end (and beyond, often in support of loved ones following a passing). Supporting full agency, autonomy and as much peace as possible at the end of this life journey is of prime importance to me. It is sad to lose people in this world (it is the hardest part of life), but my heart grieves more deeply when I watch people die without the additional support that could have been available to them.
I envision a reality where every community has trained end—of-life doulas available in an equitable and accessible way for all. Where compassionate care at the end of life is found within communities and not far out of reach - particularly when death care is still predominantly facilitated by white middle-aged women. They do amazing work, but we need the rest of us, too. We need the rest of us to allow the dying more options in language, culture and overall comfort when working with doulas. We need compassionate death care in every community and every town. If we as a society could remember death as a natural and inevitable event for us all, we could return to a world where we embrace and support each other to the very end… not turn away.
Swan Songs is my small (I only work with one person at a time) personal contribution to this vision I hope to see realized in my lifetime. Ensuring that less people feel alone in their final tasks and moments of their lives… providing the assurance that their wishes will be honored… and that their loved ones will have the support and resources they need following a passing… This is the service my heart calls me to do: as I can, where I can. And I thank you for being a part of this path with me.
Thank you for your time and whether you choose to work with me or not, I hope you find the information and the support that is of greatest use and benefit to you.
Warmly ~ Tehani
What is a Death Doula & Why Are They Beneficial?
An end-of-life doula or death doula (both terms are used interchangeably on this site) is a professionally trained and/or certified professional who supports a dying person and their loved ones through the end-of-life journey with death education, planning, emotional support, advocacy and deep compassion. This person is a guide/support for the dying person and also for the loved ones (if applicable) following a passing. They are sometimes also called death midwives, though this term is not as common in the United States. Though this role in communities has existed throughout history, the resurgence of end-of-life doulas has gained momentum over the past few decades in modern society as the stigma on death care (in our death avoidant cultures) has been gradually declining… but not enough. Death is as natural as birth and it is my belief (as a doula) that the sooner we are able to accept this as a reality, the better prepared and willing we will be as humans to be compassionate healing presences for those we love at their final transition out of this lifetime.
In the most traditional sense, doulas are secular and (in my INELDA-trained scope of practice) there is no room for any suggestions, feelings, rituals outside of the dying person’s wishes, background and requested support. It is about the dying person and their journey. The doula is not there to tell anyone what to do, what is “right,” nor what they feel about the process. It’s not about the end-of-life doula and those interjections have no place in doula work. This is a personal, intimate and sacred time for the dying. The death doula supports their process and does not interfere with what the dying person chooses at the end of life.
Through pioneering organizations such as INELDA (the International End of Life Doula Association, who has been the first to develop a code of ethics, standard of practice and has always been at the forefront of equity in death care), training and access to professional compassionate death doulas can be found with confidence. There are other reputable organizations, but INELDA is the only current organization that offers a rigorous pathway to certification and re-certification. Certification through INELDA is not a currently requirement to practice as an end-of-life doula, but it is highly recommended that professional training, experience and education in doula work is confirmed before working with one. Some doulas (like myself) carry insurance for their work, but it is not (at present) a requirement, either. As end-of-life doulas become more normalized - just as birth doulas have - in society, they will be more and more accessible in the same way birth doulas have fought for and currently are.
It is important to work with a doula who is a good fit for you. I personally offer a consultation and preliminary visit with the person at the end of life to ensure it is a good fit. Because the end of life is such a personal and intimate journey, it is the dying person’s right to decide who to work with (as a doula), how much (or how little) they want the doula to be involved and what they want/need support with - even if it’s just a healing presence between the legacy work, medical forms (ie: POLST), vigil planning, etc (all of which an end-of-life doula can assist with). As a low-cost and accessible doula dedicated to equitable death care, I understand that some of the supports are not available for everyone for financial reasons. It is important to find doulas willing to work with the budget and resources available at the end of life. Personally, I do not turn people away for lack of funds, but many death doulas are part of a larger network of doulas who may be able to be of service if the original one you have found is not accessible. Do not give up on finding the right end-of-life doula for you.
There are many benefits to having an end-of-life doula present at the end of life. In my own personal experience with the deaths in my own circle of friends/family, having an outside neutral person there who is ONLY there for the dying person and the dying person alone… to protect their wishes, advocate for them and ensure they have full agency and autonomy over their own death process… is invaluable. The Hospice nurse, the doctor, the chaplain, the social worker and other professionals visit for short periods of time throughout the week - having an end-of-life doula present and available when needed is a great relief I wish many of my loved ones had access to at the end of their lives.
Death doulas are also available to support the family and reprocessing after a death, but the primary role is for the dying person. Having someone who understands the process of death, what the laws and rights are for the dying (and the families following a death) is a great benefit to the dying and their loved ones (loved ones who have every right to be focused on the moment and their own process/life experience). The last thing people want to worry about following a death is how long they have with the body, what to legally do, etc. All of this information (and locally specific information) is readily available with a death doula who may or may not be present for the last breath (depending on the preferences and wants of the dying person, who is always in charge).
Birth and death are the great equalizers in this life. We may not be able to choose how we die or how we are born, but everyone on this earth has been born and therefore will die. Being as prepared as possible (for the most comfortable experience possible), having affairs in order, having a compassionate outside person there (for you and only you, to protect wishes at the end of life) and knowing one’s rights every step of the way are all things an end-of-life doula can support… in addition to supporting the family following a death (whether reprocessing together after a passing or grief counseling resources), if needed.
Whether you work with me directly, or with another end-of-life doula, these are all considerations and benefits to be aware of.
YOU Decide How We Work
& What is Most Supportive of Your Journey
You’re the boss and this is your journey. I am not here to tell you what to do; I am here to be a healing presence, to provide the resources needed to ensure peace of mind, to protect your autonomy over your own body, to protect your wishes and to be in full support of what you have chosen (or choose to forego) for your medical decisions, vigil, legacy work and handling of affairs. I am also here to support the family/loved ones following a passing with presence, ritual planning, reprocessing assistance and grief resources as needed.
In our work together, once we have summed up your needs and we’ve identified what is most supportive for you and/or your loved ones (regardless of the stage we begin our work together), you have the right to adjust and discuss as we go. I am here to be a deep active listener, to advocate for you, to provide information and guide as much or as little as you need in your process. We are in this together and the extent of my involvement/participation through every step of the way is your choice.
At Swan Songs, my one and only job as a non-medical doula is to ensure that I provide you the space, pace and deep active listening to work out (together) how to best support you… then do exactly that for you.
Sliding Scale Doula Support Services
Though these are competitive and comparably affordable prices, no one is turned away for lack of funds. We provide as much as possible and some pro bono services where and when appropriate/sustainable for the doula… though some services are not available fully pro bono. Swan Songs is dedicated to removing as many barriers to death care as reasonable.
Initial Consultation & First Visit
After initial contact via email (and often a bit of conversation about needs and your specific situation), a $30 consultation is conducted where we map out your immediate needs, services potentially required, the contacts needed to be made by the doula and a price point…
The consultation is basically when all information is collected so I can get to work on gathering the resources, make any necessary local calls (on behalf of the client) and paperwork (where necessary) needed prior to the first in-person visit.
This $30 will be deducted from any packaged service requested, but not deducted from individual services. There is no additional fee for the following conversations, touching base, scheduling, etc that are outside of direct doula service.
The first in-home visit is $100. Subsequent support visits are $75 or often gifted pro bono as part of a packaged doula service. During the first visit, we get to know each other, care plan, discuss the journey with the client and begin the work together in partnership with the dying person (who is always the boss, with full autonomy over their own process).
The dying person chooses how little or how much they would like the doula to be involved in their end-of-life journey… and holds the right to adjust as they see fit.
Packaged Services
The packaged service includes:
additional in-home support visits
end-of-life/death education for client and loved ones
review/assistance with completion of POLST/DNR
end-of-life planning document assistance (often five wishes doc)
vigil planning wishes (last breath) with client
guided imagery meditation, rhythmic breathing, calming practices (when requested)
living funeral/goodbye party assistance (when requested)
mourning support/follow-up session for loved ones
fur family/pet rehoming assistance and resources - if needed
legacy project facilitation (before or after passing, depending on client’s wishes)
In addition to these above-mentioned technical services, having a neutral compassionate healing presence to listen without judgment and having someone fully dedicated to protecting the client’s agency/autonomy/wishes throughout the process is a big part of what doula work is. It is not about the doula. The doula is not there to tell anyone what to do, but to be a compassionate presence to facilitate/support the wishes of the client and their final journey here on earth… to support their swan songs and what they need to complete their final acts of life with as much dignity, grace and peace (of heart and mind) as possible.
Packages are available on a sliding scale, averaging $1400, though pricing is negotiable and many services offered pro bono can reduce the price of the package (hundreds of dollars less) if the client’s finances prove a barrier to service.
Individual Services
Individual services are offered on a sliding scale with base prices ranging from $75 to $500 (depending on requests from the client). All prices are negotiable and pro bono services are available when needed.
